The Weight of Madness Page 4

  “Can I agree I see the ‘paradise’ part here while still questioning if I’m current on my tetanus shot?”

  “We can still be friends,” he winked. “I’ll give you a pass on this one.” He carefully led me up the rotted porch steps and into the house.

  “Welcome to the Rivers Residence,” he joked as the front door slid off its hinges. He quickly grabbed it before it fell and he leaned it up against the wall.

  “You’ve already named someone else’s house?”

  “I’m pretty sure once you knock the front door down, it becomes yours,” he laughed. He grabbed my hand, and although I was fairly certain he did it from a safety perspective to navigate me through the house, I still felt shivers throughout my body from his touch.

  He walked us around the cabin, pausing to explain every room to me. His voice was so excitable and his eyes lit up as he spoke. I could tell this place meant a great deal to him – not as the way most other people saw it, but as he saw it through his own eyes after putting his own hard work into it. He detailed everything; the paint colors, the trim – even the kind of furniture he wanted.

  We stepped out onto the second story balcony, and although the boards were worn, it felt safe enough for us to stand on.

  “This view is perfect,” I said dreamily, staring out toward the shoreline. “How did you even find this place?”

  “I drive around a lot, especially at night. Sometimes I have trouble sleeping, so I’ll get in my truck and drive around aimlessly for awhile.” He stood close to me as we watched the gentle waves rolling up onto the sand. “Usually when people drive up the shoreline, they’re focused on the water or all the huge beach houses,” he continued. “One night I saw this dirt turnout and I followed it. I could tell right away the cabin was abandoned, but truth-be-told I was too freaked out in the middle of the night to head inside, so I came back the next day. Once I saw it in the daylight, I was hooked.”

  “What if you aren’t able to buy it? What if it’s not for sale?”

  “I’m going to make it happen,” he replied confidently. “They say everything’s for sale, it’s just the price you’re negotiating, right? For some reason, ever since I found this place, I just can’t stop thinking about it. Haven’t you ever had that feeling? When you see something you want so bad…and it just consumes you and you have to have it.” He stared at me with such genuinely innocent eyes, and I appreciated the way he knew exactly what he wanted. As I studied his eyes, I hated how quickly he was becoming something I wanted. It was very unlike me.

  My phone rang, distracting my thoughts. Probably for the better.

  “Sorry, I just want to make sure it’s not work,” I said uncomfortably. I felt rude checking my phone in the middle of this conversation with him, but I couldn’t glaze over the bit of guilt I felt for leaving the shop so early today. It was quite out of character for me.

  “No, I understand. No need to apologize,” he said sympathetically. “Answer it.”

  As I pulled the phone out of my bag, I was surprised to see the number flashing on the screen.

  “It’s not work. I’m in the clear,” I stated, narrowing my eyes at the screen. “Nothing I need to answer.”

  “So it’s not your boyfriend either?” he replied with a curious grin.

  “I definitely don’t have one of those,” I laughed dismissively.

  He nodded with a mischievous smirk on his face and I so badly wanted to know what he was thinking in that moment.

  “Good,” he replied softly.

  I shoved the phone back in my purse, trying to forget about the call. Yet for some reason, I couldn’t get it out of my brain. I recognized the number immediately – it was the same one that called me at one in the morning, expecting someone else. The poor guy seemed to be looking for someone he lost – though clearly she didn’t want to be found.

  I couldn’t help but wonder why he was trying the number again after our prior conversation – unless for some reason he was now trying to reach me.

  Chapter 5

  We spent some more time in the old house, and by the time we were walking out the front door, I knew every last detail Lance had planned for the place. I could tell he’d spent a great deal of time thinking about it.

  “Next do you want to hear my extravagant plans for landscaping?” he said in a jovial tone.

  “You’ve planned all of that out as well?”

  “No.” He shook his head and appeared to be blushing ever so slightly. “I’m just stalling. I don’t know a damn thing about landscaping.”

  “Stalling for what? Is there a surprise party I don’t know about?” I teased. I loved the look on his face as he stared back at me on the front porch. He looked sincere and somewhat vulnerable. It was crazy handsome. He put a hand into his jeans pocket.

  “I know you have a lot to get back to,” he answered honestly. “I guess I just enjoy your company. I feel like I’m not ready to take you back yet. Here I am rambling on and on about crown molding just to spend more time with you. What am I doing?” he mumbled nervously.

  “I’m in no hurry to get back,” I replied. I swear this guy could take up the rest of my afternoon, hell, the rest of my week, and I wouldn’t mind one bit. “Any other abandoned ghost houses you want to take me to?”

  He checked his watch. “Actually, it’s after four. That means all the guys are gone already. Can I take you somewhere nicer?”

  I didn’t care where this guy wanted to take me, my answer was the same: yes.

  We loaded back up in his truck and within fifteen minutes, we were pulled into the McCarthy mansion’s driveway.

  “This place is stunning,” I commented as we climbed out of his truck. Olivia and I had seen it plenty of times from the beach while strolling by on a lazy weekend afternoon, but I’d never seen the front. It was equally as impressive as the back. It was a giant white three-story structure with huge windows. The landscaping wasn’t in yet, but the place still looked magnificent from the outside.

  “You didn’t exactly have that same reaction when we pulled up to my future prospect, but I’ll work on forgiving you for that,” he razzed. “Want to go inside?”

  “Are you sure we can?”

  He held up a silver key ring with a mischievous expression. “Of course we can go in, I have a key… at least for the next few weeks until the job is done.”

  He led me inside and the place was even more breathtaking than I imagined. The ceilings were high and the giant windows faced out toward a blue sparking pool. The white sandy beach rested just beyond that. It was like a picture.

  “The practical side of me wonders why someone would have a pool when the lake is literally forty feet away, but now I get it,” I muttered.

  He led me through the entire house and each room was more beautiful than the last. The entire kitchen and bar area was granite, each bedroom looked as big as my entire apartment, and the windows let in so much natural light. It was like a dream.

  “Can you believe all of this, and these people will barely even live here?” he stated, shaking his head. “It’s a shame.”

  “How do you know?”

  “They already have the place signed up with an agency to rent it out during peak months,” he explained. “Even some weeks during the winter for people wanting to see what a beach looks like covered in snow for the low low price of $12,000.00 a week.”

  I gasped. “What?”

  “Sad, right? I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s theirs to do whatever they want with. I just can’t picture doing something like that myself.”

  I couldn’t help but wonder who these people were and what they did for a living. Granted with rental prices like that, I’m sure that took care of their mortgage for the year if they were booked solid week after week all summer.

  “It’s definitely not as charming as the last place, if I’m being honest,” I said with a raised brow. “It feels a little stuffy, right? Like this will be one of those living rooms littered with white lea
ther couches and fancy armed sitting chairs that no one is actually supposed to sit on… And the indoor sauna? Who actually has time for that, right?”

  “When I said we could be friends earlier, I meant best friends,” he laughed, stepping closer to me as we stood near the patio doors overlooking the water. I studied his eyes, trying to read them.

  “You look like you’re thinking about something,” I said softly as he stood next to me. I swear he was a good six inches taller than me, and I loved the way he tilted his head down to make eye contact with me.

  “It’s just the first time I’ve ever been unimpressed by this house,” he said sincerely. “With you, standing in it, I guess it just confirms my belief that there’s so much else to want.” He looked so vulnerable as he said it. “Sorry if that sounded like a line, that’s not how I meant it,” he continued bashfully. “I just… for months, most days I feel like there’s all this madness in my head – trying to sort out what to do with my life and all that, whether I’m coming or going… But somehow, standing here – I don’t know, the world just doesn’t seem as heavy right now. It’s like I’m part of someone else’s life, standing in this house with you.”

  “I get that,” I answered with a flirtatious grin. “This is nice. It’s almost like a make-believe story, like we really belong in some castle like this, when obviously in reality, this house feels so far away from my real life.”

  “Yeah?”

  “With my grandma being sick, I just have this heaviness on my heart all the time. You’re right, being here, it’s like an escape from the weight of everything else around me.”

  “Wouldn’t it be nice if this was our life? Coming home to a place like this at the end of the day… Spending the entire night out on the patio, overlooking the water,” he said whimsically.

  “You have no idea,” I said quietly as he reached out and gently grabbed my hand. His touch sent shivers throughout my body. “It so relaxing and calm here. I’m not used to that. My tiny apartment definitely doesn’t give me this same feeling,” I laughed. “I spend my entire work day anxious and stressed out about how things are going there and I always wonder if I’m doing enough. Austin has a baby on the way for Pete’s sake, I know it’s so important for the store to be profitable. The livelihood of other people literally depends on its success. Then with my grandma, that has heartbreak written all over it and I can’t do a thing about it. Even on her good days, it just reminds me of how fleeting those moments are and it makes me angry that some disease has completely overtaken her. It’s the most frustrating thing. But standing here, in this grand white house with nowhere else to be, it’s like I can imagine myself without a care in the world. Even if it’s not true.”

  “So let’s stay here for as long as possible then, like there’s nothing else outside of this place,” he suggested innocently, gently squeezing my hand. He stared back at me and I couldn’t help but stare at his lips. I so badly wanted to feel them, but I couldn’t move. His eyes looked like they mirrored my thoughts, but I wasn’t entirely certain.

  “I feel like I could stay here all night,” I said quietly, biting my lip out of nervous habit.

  He slowly brushed the hair back from my face, keeping his gaze on me. “I wouldn’t mind that,” he replied. “But just for the record, I wasn’t planning on all of this when I asked you to lunch today. I don’t want you to think that’s why I brought you here.”

  “I came here on my own free will,” I replied warmly. “I didn’t exactly expect this either when you walked into my store this morning.”

  “In all fairness, when I made plans to go to a lighting store this morning, I expected a dude,” he said lightheartedly. “I’m sorry if that sounds sexist, but it’s true. This shirt may or may not be one I’ve already worn this week. That shows my level of unpreparedness.”

  Like the way I neglected to shave my legs, I thought to myself, though I never would’ve admitted that out loud.

  “When do we have to be out of here?” I questioned. He still held onto my hand, and although it was such a simple gesture, I felt so much in his touch. As the seconds passed, the mere presence of his skin on mine was setting me on fire, and I thought I was going to combust. I either needed to let go or climb on top of him, but instead I just felt frozen.

  “Probably before the workers arrive at seven a.m.,” he grinned. “Although for my second sexist comment of the night, from a guy’s standpoint – getting caught with you by my co-workers wouldn’t be the worst thing to ever happen to me. But you can decide that one.”

  I laughed as he said it, appreciative of how comfortable he already felt around me to say what he was really thinking.

  “What do you have in mind?” He raised his brows, waiting for my response.

  “First, I want to eat dinner on that deck so bad,” I said excitedly. “And then – although I apologize now if this isn’t exactly what you had in mind tonight – but I want to make some sketches in the worst way. See these pillars here?” I released his hand, gesturing towards the second story catwalk. The tension of his touch was eating me alive. Letting go of him and changing the subject was all I could do to not press my entire body up against him, expressing where my mind was really at in that moment. “There is so much potential here, I just want to sketch so bad.” There were already some light fixtures mounted around the house, but there were still some vacant spots, likely what Lance had come into the store to talk about this morning.

  “We can do all of that,” he said warmly.

  I pulled out my phone to take some pictures, and also slid a small sketch pad out that I kept in my purse.

  “You carry that around with you?” he teased, pointing to the spiral-bound book. “Just in case you happen upon opportunities like this?”

  “Yes,” I admitted, “and look, here’s the perfect occasion for it,” I gestured around the house with animated arms. “Do you know how much there is to draw in here? It’s perfect.”

  “Can’t we work on the designs for the Rivers Residence first? I find it curious you didn’t pull out this sketchpad back there,” he said sarcastically. “Maybe we should talk about dinner first before you start drawing?”

  “Can I handle that part?”

  “There’s nothing to cook with here if that’s what you’re getting at,” he replied. “Oh, and no food.”

  “I don’t even know how to cook. I would probably burn this place down. Oh sorry, is that fourth date conversation?” I said in a mocking tone, referencing his earlier speech about hiding all secrets until date number four.

  “I feel like you just admitted that this as an actual date, yes?” He narrowed his eyes at me, waiting for my reply.

  “Well, technically it’s kind of work-related, right? So more like a point five? I’d say we’re pretty far away from date four at this point. No secrets just yet.”

  I dialed a number and within seconds I was connected to my favorite Italian restaurant. “Do you like pasta?” I asked Lance as he smiled back at me.

  “I’m alive, right?” he snickered. “Is that a question anyone would say no to?”

  “Oh my, maybe we really are going to be best friends,” I joked, sharing the same sentiment. I placed a carryout order and hung up the phone. “Want to go pick up the food while I draw? I can probably finish by the time you get back,” I suggested. I obviously wouldn’t have minded making the drive with him, but I was also eager to get my sketches done quickly so I could focus on the rest of the night with him later.

  He nodded, looking amused by my excitement. I gave him easy directions and he headed out. I began my sketches, and everything felt right in the world.

  Austin texted me while I worked. How’s the kidnapping going?

  I couldn’t help but laugh. Surprising well. I added a few silly emojies. I’m actually making some new sketches for you as we speak, so get all other thoughts out of your head. I’ll still be into the shop by seven tomorrow morning. Thanks for worrying about me. I really appreciated the w
ay he was ever-so-slightly protective of me, especially since I didn’t have any siblings.

  My phone chimed again. I wasn’t worried about you, I was worried about him. I laughed again. Austin had a great sense of humor, and I appreciated that about him as well.

  I returned to my drawings, and sure enough within twenty minutes Lance returned with the food.

  “Give me just a minute,” he commented, walking past me out toward the patio, his hands full of plastic bags. I put away my sketch pad, waiting for his instructions. Within a couple minutes, he returned. “All right, the feast is prepared.”

  I stepped out onto the patio, surprised to see a vase full of daisies and a candle resting between our meals.

  “I may have stolen that from the restaurant,” he blushed, “but I Googled it and I’m 97% sure that flowers and candlelight make this an actual date.”

  “It’s still daylight out,” I laughed. “But you can call it what you want.” I sat down next to him on the stone floor.

  “In hindsight, I should’ve also stolen chairs and a table,” he said playfully. “I didn’t think that part through. Would you rather eat inside at an actual counter?”

  “No, this is perfect.” It really was; heaping piles of carbs, a hot guy I was very intrigued by, and a perfectly unobstructed view of Lake Michigan – my world was complete at the moment. It really did feel like a make-believe life as I stared out into the water. I wondered if my real life would mirror this in any way over the next twenty years. Maybe not in the way of owning such a big house, but the comfort level of food and conversation without the constant worry of everything else going on in my life at the moment.

  We ate and shared more laughs, and he told me a bit more about his parents and growing up in Carlstown. He was an athlete all through school, which I wasn’t too surprised by given his build. He had to give up his football scholarship though after a knee injury his senior year. He never ended up making it to college and opted to join his family business instead, starting with his real estate license.