The Weight of Perfection: Grand Harbor - Book Three Read online

  “I know you said you weren’t hungry earlier, probably because of your nerves and your adrenaline still, but I really think you should eat something.” He held up a plastic bag of food.

  I smiled back at him, thankful for his thoughtfulness. I slid all of the money into a stack and set it aside, and Luke spread out all of the food. His phone chimed, and the look on his face turned to frustration.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “I have to take this phone call real quick. Can I step outside for a minute? I have a few choice words to say to someone, and I wouldn’t want to talk like that in front of you.”

  “I’ve heard it all, trust me. I’m not easily offended. But I mean yeah, if you need to, you can go out there onto the balcony.”

  He kissed me briefly as he walked past me out the back door. I grabbed some utensils and napkins from the kitchen, returning one more time to grab some drinks. I wasn’t sure what he wanted, so I lingered for a minute, trying to decide if he’d want a beer or something else. I didn’t drink a ton of beer – I was more of a mixed drink kind of girl – but I still had some random craft beers left over in my fridge from Nathan.

  I neared the patio door, unsure if I should pop out and ask him what he wanted to drink. Before I even put my fingers on the handle, I could hear him angrily talking on his phone.

  “I swear, if you ever do that again, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Leave her alone. Do you hear me?” There was a long pause. “Son of a…”

  The door flung open, startling me. He threw his phone down on the table as he walked inside, running his fingers through his thick brown hair.

  “Hi. Um, drinks? I wasn’t sure what you wanted.”

  “Sorry, uh, yeah, a beer maybe? If you have one?” His expression softened. “You look really pretty with wet hair. I meant to tell you that when I walked in. I mean, you look nice when it’s all down and everything, but right now, like this…you look really beautiful.”

  I wanted to ask him if everything was okay. His phone call sounded really heated, and he seemed really frustrated just a second ago, but now, he looked so vulnerable and sweet standing in front of me. I was so glad he came back. He didn’t have to. I was fairly confident that I would, in fact, be okay alone tonight. But this – him here, in my apartment, bringing me food and saying all the right things – he was like a dream I’d never had. He was so sincere and muscular and safe – and I was quickly becoming far too comfortable around him.

  “Thank you,” I said softly. “For everything. For being here. For being you.”

  He wrapped me up in his arms, pulling me close into his chest. “You make me want to be a good person,” he whispered.

  “I think you’re wonderful already.”

  “You make me think I could be.” He pressed his lips to mine, and despite being in the early stages of getting to know each other, I wanted everything he had to offer. It seemed like he had a lot on his plate, dealing with his family – but I knew I wasn’t perfect in that regard either. I had my own baggage with my brother. It seemed Luke had a bit of a temper too, perhaps – but never toward me, so it didn’t bother me. He was kind and sweet and I loved being with him.

  “You’re still not hungry, are you?” He grinned back at me, and admittedly, food was the furthest thing from my mind at the moment.

  Chapter 9

  I had lunch the following day with Olivia and Sophia. Luke had to leave early that morning to take care of his grandfather, and I felt stupid for missing him within an hour after he left.

  I recounted everything to the girls, going over the bank robbery in detail and telling them about my entire day with Luke afterward. As unsettling as the robbery was, especially as I retold the graphic details, I felt warm and giddy as soon as I told them everything about Luke.

  “So things are getting pretty serious already?” Sophia asked after we’d put in our food order.

  “No, it’s just new. You know how it is in the beginning. All those butterflies and whatever. We joked at first about him being a rebound guy, given I just got out of a long relationship, but I don’t know. It feels more serious than that. How do you know if it’s just the rebound effect? When does that wear off?”

  “About ten minutes after he’s walking away from me,” Olivia said in jest. “Rebounds are fleeting. They pull you out of your sadness and take you away from the hurt and the anger you had and they make you want back in the game. They’re easy to get over once the tingles wear off.”

  “I can’t imagine this euphoric feeling every wearing off,” I said dreamily. “Does that sound stupid? When your sucky loser boyfriend cheats on you, you don’t just pick the right guy out of a crowd on a whim one night, right? Statistically speaking, I’m probably supposed to have, like, eight more boyfriends before finding one who’s this amazing.”

  “Surely he has some flaws,” Sophia chimed in.

  “Oh trust me, I already know that. I’ve seen them. Watching the cops drag him away from me the first night we met, that was the first red flag. Then it took multiple attempts for him to ask me out, so somehow there’s a confidence issue there, right? And then last night, my brother was there and it was really awkward, like he wasn’t happy about some guy being in my house, even though it was my brother for Pete’s sake. I don’t know, he seemed off.”

  “None of that seems flawed, guys are always weird about other guys, that’s totally normal,” Olivia chimed in. “Besides, your brother always puts you in a crazy mood. No offense, but he does. He gets under your skin. So maybe Luke picked up on that.”

  “Maybe, I don’t know. Then later that night, I overheard a pretty heated conversation he was having over the phone with someone. I’m guessing it was some of his own family drama, as if he was threatening someone to stay away from his mom? He doesn’t have any sisters, so unless there’s some other girl in his life…” I was rambling at this point. “Oh no. Do you think there could be another girl?”

  “If he could barely ask you out, I highly doubt he’s schmoozing other ladies all over town,” Olivia said matter-of-factly. “It’s all new. Relax. Give it some time. Besides, you know if he ever breaks your heart, I’m going to make him regret ever being alive.” We all giggled. I loved how overprotective Olivia was. She always looked out for Sophia and I in that regard.

  We finished our lunch, giggling about stupid things and reminiscing like we always did. I love how connected I felt to them. I had more honest conversations with them than I ever did with any boyfriend I’d ever had. I imagined that would always be the case.

  After leaving my friends, I was supposed to head into the bank’s corporate office for some counseling session about the robbery, but I decided to cancel the appointment. It didn’t seem necessary to rehash everything that’d happened. I thought that would just make things worse, bringing it all back up again, whereas for now I felt pretty good.

  I took a walk down by the lake to clear my head. It did feel weird not being at work on a Tuesday afternoon. I always worked on weekdays. Even though they gave me the week off to help me cope with what had happened, honestly I wondered if going back to work would help. At least there, time moved quickly and I would be busy and distracted. While alone, while I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about it – it was all I could think about.

  My phone chimed. Are you up for a wild afternoon of fun and adventure?

  I loved the way Luke always seemed to know exactly what I needed. I texted him back right away. Always. What time?

  I stared at those three gray dots, waiting for his reply, already eagerly anticipating our afternoon together.

  I’ll pick you up at three. Wear a swim suit.

  Late August around Grand Harbor there was plenty to do outside in the summer sun. It was a perfect beach day, though I wasn’t sure exactly what he had in mind. My friends had to work the rest of the afternoon, so I knew we wouldn’t be meeting any of them for volleyball or anything.

  I headed back home to change my clothes a
nd touch up my makeup. Butterflies filled my entire stomach as he gently knocked on my door.

  “Do I need to bring anything? I have my swimsuit on under this,” I explained, pulling on my blue cotton cover-up.

  “I have a cooler loaded in the truck,” he said warmly. “I hope you’re a good teacher. I hope you’re patient and kind, instead of one of those condescending yelling types. I have a good feeling about you.”

  I laughed. “What exactly am I going to teach you to do?”

  “You’ll see.” He escorted me to the truck, and within ten minutes, we were pulling up into the parking lot of the marina.

  “Oh no, you don’t think I know how to drive a boat, do you? Did I tell you I could drive one? Because I definitely can’t. I’ve never done it before. We’ll need the Coast Guard.” I suddenly felt unsure of everything. Despite living in Grand Harbor since middle school, my parents were never wealthy enough to have a boat. Sure, lots of my friends had them, like Olivia’s family, but I never drove one.

  “No, this is going to be a lot less extravagant, trust me,” he said with a laugh. “That green thing is ours.”

  He was pointing at a lime green two-person kayak.

  “That’s right, you said you’ve never been in a kayak before. Really?”

  “That sounds condescending,” he teased. “No, us Oak Shores boys – we’re fisherman. We’re pond people, not really Lake Michigan people. I’m used to big sturdy rowboats, not these tiny little plastic things.” He talked to the guy in the rental hut, and within a few minutes we were carrying the kayak down toward the shore.

  “Do you want the front or the back?” He was loading in the cooler as I asked.

  “Oh, definitely the back. That way you can do all of the heavy paddling in front, and you’ll have no clue that I’m actually napping back here,” he joked.

  “Honestly you’re probably better in the back anyway so the weight is distributed better.”

  “Double condescending as I’m stripping down to my swim trunks.”

  He kept making me laugh, and I loved that about him. I gave him a few basic instructions and within a couple minutes we were off.

  There were only a few clouds in the sky and the temperature was perfect. The water was cool as it occasionally splashed onto our legs from the paddles, but otherwise it felt refreshing. We explored different cove areas and different beaches up the shoreline. Finally around dinner time, we pulled the kayak into a small little secluded inlet. The tiny beach area was surrounded by pine trees and there were no people in sight.

  “This is the perfect dinner spot,” he stated as we pulled the plastic boat onto the shore.

  “Are we having beer for dinner?”

  “You’re like my seventh grade algebra teacher, always doubting my preparedness. And yeah, so what if I actually failed algebra? It’s irrelevant, right? I’ve managed to prepare us a rather nice picnic dinner, and I didn’t use algebra at all, so I regret nothing.”

  “You made dinner?”

  “Well, I made it fit into this little tiny cooler,” he said with an animated shrug. “I had to get a little creative since those kayak things don’t have a lot of storage space.” He rolled out a thin blanket onto the sand and carefully unpacked the small Styrofoam cooler.

  “This is actually pretty impressive, Luke Beckett.”

  “Only the best for my girl.” I’m pretty sure I blushed as he said it, and my stomach flipped. “I didn’t mean my girl, like possessive or whatever. Maybe that came out wrong. I just meant, like, you are…” He paused, trying to get his words right. “Dammit, now I feel like I’m back in seventh grade algebra trying to ask out the prettiest girl in the room…”

  I reached out a hand and touched his cheek, leaning in closer to him, pressing my lips to his. “You can call me your girl anytime you want,” I said softly, slowly pulling away from him.

  “Then I will.” He leaned in, pulling my legs around him. His lips were warm and commanding and I loved everything about his touch. His arms were so firm and he held me with such purpose. I felt completely enamored every time I found myself wrapped up against his chest.

  It appeared his beautiful picnic was just another meal I would get sidetracked from.

  *****

  “I want to stay here all night,” I commented as we sat on the beach, wrapped up in the blanket he brought. We’d finished all of the food from the cooler and we were almost done with the sweet red wine.

  “We can’t. We’d freeze. Look how cold it is already and the sun hasn’t even fully set yet. It’s only eight o’clock.”

  “Then I want to come back here. Soon. I want to bring a tent and I want to camp out here all night.”

  “Really? There’s nothing out here. Just trees and nighttime noises. Doesn’t that creep you out?”

  “If I was alone, of course it would. I’d hear one coyote and I’d be paddling frantically back to safety. But if you were with me? Nothing would scare me.”

  “What makes you think I could protect you from everything out here?”

  “Your muscles.” I shrugged.

  “Yes, because bears are so scared of muscles,” he responded with a laugh. “What about snakes or wolves or tornados? Aren’t you scared of all those?”

  “Honestly, with you, I don’t really feel scared of anything.” Saying it out loud made me feel somewhat embarrassed and vulnerable, but it was true. “What about you?”

  “Everything. Or nothing. Most days I can’t decide. That’s a dangerous place to be.” He became quiet, staring out across the lake as the sun neared the edge of the horizon.

  “Does being with me make it better or worse?”

  He paused. “When it comes to you, I’m only scared of one thing.”

  “Yeah? What is it?”

  “That I won’t be able to save you when it really matters.”

  Chapter 10

  We loaded up the kayak and made it back to the marina before the sun fully set, though we’d cut it pretty close and the guy at the rental hut wasn’t too happy about it.

  Luke was staring down at his phone, looking frustrated as he climbed into his truck.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “My brother bailed on taking care of my grandpa tonight. He sent me a text. Apparently he has something ‘really important’ going on, which is BS, as usual. I can’t believe it. It’s past nine already, so I really have to do his meds. I hate this. I mean, I don’t mind taking care of him, it’s important. I just hate the rigid schedule, and more importantly, I hate that I’m the only one who ever follows through with it. My brother is useless.”

  “That’s okay, Luke. It’s important. Do what you need to do.”

  “I’m not ready to leave you yet.” His words were sweet and sincere.

  “So take me with you. I’d like to meet him.”

  “My grandfather? You really don’t want to, trust me, He can be…harsh. Assuming. Unkind.”

  “I meet people like that every day at the bank,” I said, trying to lighten the mood. “I don’t judge. Actually, that’s not true, I judge the hell out of people in my head, but I’m too polite to say anything about it. We all have our flaws. He is who he is. He must have a reason for being that way.”

  “The sad thing is, he doesn’t. He’s been like that his whole life, according to my mom, and definitely ever since I’ve known him. He’s a bitter, angry person.”

  “He must appreciate you helping him, even if he doesn’t express it. I’m sure it matters to him.”

  “I doubt it,” he muttered under his breath. “He tells me all the time he wants to die. Can you imagine spending every day like that?”

  “No. But all the more reason to help him find some joy.”

  “See, this is what I mean. You’re too good of a person to be subjected to his heartless rage. It would scare you away for good.”

  “I can’t imagine anything scaring me away from you.” I was thinking it, not necessarily meaning to say it aloud, but it slipped o
ut.

  “You have to be sure. If he destroys one more thing in my life, I’ll completely lose it.” His tone was serious.

  “I’m sure. You’re stuck with me.”

  He pulled the truck out of the marina lot and headed toward Oak Shores. Within fifteen minutes or so, we were pulling up a long, gravel road.

  “Staying here is just temporary. Only until I can get it fixed up enough to sell it,” he explained.

  “Luke, you don’t have to preface any of this. You are who you are, and I’m already in. I don’t care about the rest.”

  We eventually pulled up a narrow driveway. The small old cabin was in poor shape, suffering years of neglect. The old wooden boards desperately needed to be stained, the windows needed to be replaced, and the roof looked like a tree had fallen on it at some point. The outside landscaping was at least tidied up. It looked like weeds had been pulled, the grass had been freshly mowed, and the pavers leading to and from the house looked new. There was a ladder leaning up to a section of the gutters that looked to be in the process of repairs.

  “I’ve started on the inside first until it cools down a bit in September,” he began, turning off the truck engine. “I’ve retiled both bathrooms, and I’m ripping up some of the floors now. It’s a lot of work. My brother is supposed to handle the roof, but as you can see, he hasn’t made any progress on that yet.”

  I smiled as he spoke, thinking of Olivia in that moment and our obsession with the Property Brothers on HGTV. Despite Luke’s soft hands, he was clearly more like Jonathan than Drew, and I had to admit, I found that to be pretty sexy.

  We sat there in the truck for a minute, as if he needed time to mentally prepare for this moment.

  “It’s going to be fine,” I reassured. “No matter what. I’m not running.”

  “I’m going to hold you to that.”

  “I hope you do.” We climbed out of the truck and made our way up to the dilapidated front door. Luke inserted a key and slowly turned the lock. The door only opened an inch, but then stopped at the end of the chain lock that was still attached.